Friday, May 29, 2009

First noticeable drop in size

Because I started out so large, my 30/32 sized clothes were already busting at the seams so I knew it would take me longer to move down in size. In all actuality if they made a 34/36, I probably would have been wearing those instead. Well, this past weekend I decided to go through my clothes as my family was fussing that my clothes were falling off of me and it looked like I was wearing a tent. I didn't see it because I am so used to everything being so tight, it was nice that things weren't so snug for once. Anyways, moving forward...I went through my clothes and packed up some of my nicer work pants and shirts and bagged up 5 bags to go to goodwill. I found clothes that I wore back in the 80 's and 90's, what was I thinking holding onto this stuff?? I had a hard time at first, making piles of trash, give away, goodwill, maybe I can wear or will need one day..then I had to finally say, no you will not need any of it because we are not going back! I did keep a couple pairs of jeans that although were a little loose, I thought they are still wearable and I felt comfortable in them for once. Can't change everything all at once, I suppose. So my closet looks bare and I head out to find me just a few tops. At the store, my fat girl mentality kicked in and I automatically went for the biggest size, I decided to try on a 26/28 and said the whole time, it's not going to fit, it is going to be too small. Guess what, it fit and truth of the matter I really could have gone with a 22/24 but I am not comfortable in clingy clothes. What a good feeling! So that means I have at least dropped 3 sizes! The only issue I had was most of the shirts were either too short in the waist or the sleeves were cut up to the armpit. This infuriated me. If you are a larger woman, why would you want to show off your fat stomach or jiggly arms??? I want to cover those areas not expose them. I end up getting stuck with quarter inch sleeves most of the time. I tell ya, who makes fat people clothes anyway?

I am down 68 lbs and people are finally starting to notice. I am getting all the questions of how much, what are you doing. I feel guilty about not disclosing the WLS but I just don't want everyone at work to know and I am fearful that what if it doesn't work and I don't lose a bunch of weight and people start talking abut how it didn't work, I must be broke or something. I had a lady who is very open about her RNY ask what I was doing and I didn't lie, I said cutting back portions, low carb and exercising. Not a lie, right? Here was her follow up pills? you didn't have gastric bypass? My response, no I didn't have gastric bypass (I didn't lie, thank god she didn't ask specifically WLS) and I am taking B12 and protein supplements in the morning, which is also not a lie. Is this wrong??

I am having to wear my spanx everyday now as the stomach issues are not getting better. I am not comfortable without the spanx because I am all jiggly. Price I have to pay, I guess. I am going to make an appointment with my PCP soon so I can start getting the stomach issues documented so when it comes time to submit for a pannilectomy, I will have my back up. I got my collagen pills and am using the nioxin shampoo and I got a hair cut, shoulder length. I am noticing improvements, I am not losing near as much hair, it seems, or maybe I am just not noticing it since it is shorter. Either way I am pleased as I am not pulling out gobs of hair at a time. So far, I recommend the collagen tablets.

My dad is coming home next week, after 5 months in the hospital so I feel like my life is somewhat becoming normal again. Maybe I can try some of those recipes I have been wanting to try.

1 comment:

Amy M said...


Congratulations! You are doing so well! Pre-op we were similar in terms of BMI, and I am about 2 months ahead of you in terms of surgery date, so I understand completely the WOW factor involved with shopping for clothes! Spanx are my best friend, too. If it weren't so hot, I'd totally be inventing some sort of batwing support; my wiggly jigglies are a good way, though, as they're proof positive of how far I've come and provide inspiration to keep on keeping on!

You are an inspiration to me. Thank you for your authenticity!