That's it!

I keep saying that's it...starting right now, no more grazing, no more snacking, no more junk food. I wake up, I have a protein shake, eggs for breakfast, some type of meat for lunch, maybe an afternoon cheese sick and by the time I get home the bottom falls out. I can't get a handle on snacking on stuff, even when I am choosing low carb, I am still taking in more calories and carbs than I need because I am eating every hour on the hour. I say I am going to the gym but I don't go. I cut out the G2, extra carbs, I cut out the creamer because of extra carbs. I am still stuck at 250-255. I think I have hit the mental part of this journey and I need to get a handle on it. I am taking my kids to Kings Dominion tomorrow and the weight limit for most rides is 250 lbs, 45 inch waist. That's me...I said I was going to do a liquid diet this week, see if I could drop a few pounds before the trip just to be safe because I didn't want to still be too fat for the rides. I could so do a liquid diet as I NEVER get hungry but my head hunger wins every time. I think I just love food, the texture, the taste but I also think I am totally self sabotaging because heck I don't deserve to be happy as former fat girl tells me all the time. I thought I had a handle on this but I obviously don't. Time to shift gears again. I think I am going to order the Beck diet solution book and workbook and start there. I can not let this defeat me.