Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A quarter of a doughnut

That's all it took! Easter weekend, spent it at the hospital celebrating the arrival of my great nephew with family. Everyone wanted to go to Dunkin Donuts/Baskin Robbins. Off we go, I am planning on buying nothing, only taking a sip from my daughters fat free frozen yogurt smoothie. I am waiting on everyone and talk myself into having a bite of a boston creme donut, I purchase it, take a quarter of it and give the rest to my friend. I think I heard halos playing as I savored this dang donut! But could I control myself.Noooo...I leave with a mango fat free frozen yogurt smoothie of my own and a 6 pack of donut holes. I only drink about half of the smoothie and ate one donut hole. The rest went in the trash. I felt so guilty. I worked so hard and went through so much to sabotage myself. That was it! I was done....until Monday when the leftover Nutella was staring me in my face...and Tuesday when the kids easter candy was on the table, peanut butter easter egg..ain't nothin like em; and Thursday when all the Easter candy was on sale 75% off. Oh and over the weekend, a bite of my daughter's chips and french fries. Ok I have unleashed a monster! Got to get back on track. Sunday went well. I refuse to give in...Monday was good too, except TOM arrived. Oh could that be it? Is that the reason or did I self sabotage? Either way, I am back on track. Go to the grocery store with DD last night and she wants me to buy this Oreo pie..no I say..well ok, only if we buy the Hershey Pie instead. What? Did I really just say that? Yes..I did and I ate a piece! WTH is wrong with me?? I know better! So now a quarter of a donut, that one choice has sent me spiraling down a sugary carb filled slope all week. Moral of the story, Just say No. I have said No so many times since surgery and the head hunger passed. I survived and did not die because I chose not to have something. Surgery is not a cure all and it makes me even more angry than ever to hear someone say it's the easy way out. This is not easy. I still have to make a choice so...Back to the basics. I must brush myself off and try again. I CAN do this!

1 comment:

GastricGirl said...

I have had one small indulgence turn into an avalanche of bad choices too. It's really hard to turn it around, but you're right.. JUST SAY NO!! Not tomorrow, or Monday.. but now!
You can do it! :)

Laurie