Friday, January 9, 2009

Taking my life back

So day 5 of low carb and you know what I noticed yesterday that my steering wheel didn't rub up against my stomach. I was like hey! That's a start. It is amazing the things skinny folks take for granted. I bet they never think about their stomach touching the steering wheel. I can't wait for all the other little victories to start happening. Today is day 3 of no diet coke, water only and today is.. drum roll please.......Day two of no cigarettes!!! I am really wanting a cigarette today though. I went and found me some quotes to remind myself that I am in control, not the junk food or the cigarettes. Here's my quotes:

I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do!
Johann von Goethe

Fear not that life shall come to an end but rather fear that it never began.
John Henry Cardinal

What you do today determines where you'll be tomorrow.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

I really like the first one and the last one.
I didn't think I had it in me to give up the cigarettes but I guess it is all mind over matter. I told myself that I only had to quit for 30 days, just til surgery. Oh yeah! I forgot to mention...THEY OVERTURNED THE DENIAL AND APPROVED ME FOR MY VSG SURGERY!!!!! WOOT WOOT! OH YEAH! LOL I called my daughter on Wed and was like did I get a letter and she was reading blah blah blah and then I heard: The external review board approved your request for benefits. I said whoa! Read that again....and as she did I just felt the lump in my throat and wanted to ball. I think I shed a tear or two but I was at work so I tried to compose myself. I just didn't think it was going to happen for me. Nothing ever goes my way so that night Jan 7 at 9pm I smoked my last cigarette. Miss pack and a half a day put them down, that's how bad I want this. I am tired of just existing, I am taking my life back.

1 comment:

Heather said...

GOOD FOR YOU! I'm excited that things are going your way. I had a feeling this would be a better year for you!

Good luck!!!!